A Secret of Successful People

In today’s video, we talk about 5 actions you can begin doing today to change the direction of your business and your life.  No matter where you are in your journey, you can start taking on any challenge that comes your way with these great tips!  Stay tuned for the end for a game changing secret that successful people use to every day grow personally and professionally…and you can too!

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In This Video

0:00 Introduction

01:55 Obstacles and Challenges are Our Best Friends

04:33 Pain Can Lead us to Our Purpose

06:48 If it Hurts Bad Enough…

08:11 Take Ownership and Responsibility

12:26 Perspective Analysis

13:05 Focus on What You Can Do

14:04 Focus On What You Want

14:56 Focus on Where You’re Going

16:19 The Secret

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Full Video Transcript

Introduction

Hey this is Darin Kidd and I hope you’re having a great week and I am excited today to talk to you about a secret of successful people that I wish someone had told me many years ago; and you can use this secret to propel you forward, to grow faster than you ever thought possible.  

So do me a favor, I know we’re broadcasting on multiple platforms.  As you join let me know where you’re watching from, what city, what state, what province in Canada, what country. And make sure as we’re going through this, because I have a feeling today is gonna resonate with alot of you because all of us have been through what I want to talk about at certain points in our life.  And if you haven’t been, guess what, you’re going to.  But I’ll bet you have.  So let’s see here real quick, who we have joining.  Let me know where you’re watching from.

Again we’re broadcasting on Youtube, we’re broadcasting on Facebook.  Good morning, Cherwin, thanks for joining, and let me know where you’re watching.  Hey Alfred, I appreciate you joining on YouTube.  Cherwin is on Facebook. And again, spread the love if you have some people that you go, hey look man, someone needs to hear this.  We would love to have them on as well.  Hey Peace, thanks for joining from Nigeria.  Hey Lisa good morning, how are you?  And Cherwin’s watching from the Philippines, that’s awesome.  Lisa is from New York.

Alright we’re gonna go ahead and get started as I keep these short and to the point and give you information.  And not only am I gonna give you this secret today, but I’m also gonna give you some action steps of what to do to help you go out there and use this to propel you forward, and grow faster than you ever thought possible, and use, to really change your life.  And I’m always hesitant to say things like, “Hey, change your life”, because we hear that so much so we tend to you go, “Hey you know what?, It’s just a little more hype”, or whatever it may be but I’m telling you, I wish I would have known this many years ago.  So here’s the secret then I’m gonna give you some action steps.

Obstacles and Challenges are Our Best Friends

So the secret, and they don’t teach us this in school, is that obstacles and challenges, successful people look at them a little bit differently,  They go, you know what, the challenges, and the obstacles and the setbacks, they’re just the set up for a comeback.  Obstacles and challenges are our best friends.  I didn’t realize that.  You know, 27 years ago when I was bankrupt and I couldn’t feed my family and I was depressed and I couldn’t keep a job, and I’m a college drop out and I lived in a small town, and everyone knew that I failed over and over and over again.  If anyone had told me back then hey Darin, you know what, this is awesome this is happening to you, like congratulations, I would have said you know what I wouldn’t have taken that very well, let’s just leave it at that.

But looking back, I found out that if it wasn’t for the obstacles, if it wasn’t for the challenges, then I would have stayed in that comfort zone and comfort zones are never comfortable.  Comfort zones are designed to keep us safe.  And so if you look at, hey look, what are my goals and my dreams in my life, they’re over here.  And your comfort zones over here, right?  Everything that you ever want, that you deserve for you and your fam is outside of your comfort zone.  So they didn’t teach us this in school, hey it’s not the easy times that make us grow; we don’t grow in easy times.  And so it’s important  to go, you know what, I’m gonna use that as a stepping stone, right, not a stumbling block, but a building block in my life.

And Jim Ronan, and I’m gonna put this in perspective, then I’m gonna give you some action steps.  Jim Ronson, says don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better.  Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better.  Another way to look at it, I know we have a lot of entrepreneurs that are watching this and will watch this.  We get paid on the size of the problems that we can solve. I used to get mad at the problems.  When I bagged groceries in high school, I was making minimum wage, right, because it was a very very simple problem to solve.  You put the heavy stuff at the bottom of the bag and you put the eggs and the bread up top, and I even messed that up every now and then.  And that’s why I got paid minimum wage,  because anyone pretty much could solve this problem.  But later on when I started to understand, hey listen, I get paid based on the size of the problem that I can solve, I was like bring on the bigger challenges. 

Pain Can Lead us to Our Purpose

Because the bigger the challenge, the bigger the paycheck.  I saw someone put this on Facebook last night.  They go, you know what, the struggle is what, well I saw two or three things.  The struggle isn’t punishment, the struggle is preparation.  The struggle isn’t punishment, it’s  preparation for what’s to come.  And another person I saw put this on Facebook last night: pain doesn’t leave until it’s done teaching you. And some of us like myself, sometimes I’m a slow learner.  Right?  The pain hangs around because it wasn’t finished with me yet.  So important, pain, a lot of times if we think the right way, it can lead us to our purpose.  That pain can lead us to our purpose.

Everytime that I’ve gone to a different level of my life, it’s after I’ve gone through some of the biggest challenges I’ve ever faced in my life.  And when I started looking at it from a different perspective, going you know what it can make be bitter or better I can use this as a stumb block or a building block and I started asking the right questions not hey why did that happen to me?  Me asking, hey listen, what can I learn from this? How can I not just go through it?  How can I grow through it?  And when I was going through these challenges, and we go through them every day, John Maxwell says look, there’s never two consecutive really good days in a leader’s life.  

Rick Warren who wrote The Purpose Driven Life, said, either we’re in a storm, we’re going out of a storm, or getting ready to go into a storm.  So, when I used to look at them the wrong way, the challenges and the obstacles, and all these things the wrong way – when I started going, you know what this is an opportunity for me to grow.   This is not punishment, this is preparation for what’s to come in the future.

You know, I’m writing a chapter in my book and if I can handle this the right way then I can impact more people.  So let me just see here real quick…if you can do it everyone else can solve it and everyone gets….that’s true, Cherwin!  You’re exactly right.  If you can do what everyone else can solve, then you’re gonna get the same thing.  If we want to get something different than the masses, we have to be willing to do something different than the masses.  And one of those things is asking the right question as we’re going through the challenging times,

If it Hurts Bad Enough…

So when I was going through those challenges, yeah, sometimes it feels like the weight of the world is crushing you.  It’s hard to even think positive, but know that hey listen, once I, I don’t want to just go through this, I want to grow through this.  Let’s go ahead and talk about – and you know, sometimes it doesn’t hurt bad enough, how many of us know that?  We’ve been at points, I know I have at my life, where, yeah it was uncomfortable, but it wasn’t uncomfortable enough for me to move.  And some of you, you’ve heard me talk about the dog that was under the porch, and the neighbor was walking by and the owner of the dog was on the front porch just rocking in a rocking chair.  And they go, hey mister, your dog is laying on a nail.  And he goes, don’t worry about it; if it hurts bad enough he’ll move.

So there were times in my life where I’ve been through the obstacles and the challenges where it finally hurt bad enough for me to get so disgusted with where I was to where going backwards was not an option.  Right?  It was only going forward.  And it frustrated me and it made me go to the next level.  So remember it’s not what happens around us, this is important, that it’s what happens within us.  So they do not teach us this is school, that obstacles and challenges are your best friend.

Take Ownership and Responsibility

There is no elevation without obstacles.  So let’s talk about some things that you can do.  Right?  How many of you are ready for some things that you can do?  Let me know if you have an aha moment in the comments.  If there was something that you needed to hear,  And again, maybe it’s not right now but it’s something that you can use in the future.  If there are people in your life, you’re like man. I wish people knew about this, I wish…go ahead and let them know.  Maybe you wanna take it and you want to spread the love and let some other people know about this as well.  But let’s talk about number one; take ownership and responsibility.   Take ownership and responsibility.   So I’m just looking at my notes.  Here’s what Les Brown said, “Wherever you find yourself, at some point in time, you made an appointment to be there.”  Repeat it again.  Wherever you find yourself, at some point in time, you made an appointment to be there.

So when I ended up bankrupt, and I don’t get into the details, twenty-some years ago.  But we had some we knew, we trusted, get moved in from another area and he started building us a house, and he walks off in the middle of building the house.  And I mean the foundation was off, the footers were off.  We had, the walls in the basement were supposed to be directly under a wall upstairs, they weren’t even touching.  So the foundation was off, the footers were off, support walls weren’t even where they should have been, underpriced the house.  And for a while I was a victim.  Right?  I was like, poor pitiful me.  I had money in the bank and perfect credit and a new car and enjoying life.  And because of this person, now I can’t even feed my family.

But eventually when I started taking responsibility and ownership, I’m like, you know what; it’s not just his fault.  I’m the one that hired him.  It’s just as much my fault as it is his fault.  And when I did that, and stopped being a victim – because, see when we’re a victim, we have no control.  And there’s nothing we can do about it but sit, soak and be sour. Okay, how many of us are guilty of that? We sit, soak, and become sour.  That’s what I was doing.  SO you want to take ownership and stop blaming others because it’s what’s going on here that’s more important than what goes on out there.

As a victim we have no control, so the way that we get out of that victim mentality, number one, have gratitude.  I started going, you know what, I’m really thankful that this guy walked off the build of my house because it pushed me to become a better version of myself.  It pushed me to become a better problem solver.  It pushed me to get out my comfort zone and work like I’ve never worked before.  It pushed me to ask questions that I’ve never asked myself before.  Like, how can I grow through this?  How can I become better?  How can I win again?  How can I come out of the challenges that I’m facing right now?  So when you start having gratitude, fear and anxiety, and being a victim – having that mentality – we don’t take ownership, we don’t take ownership and responsibility, it doesn’t get us anywhere.  But when we think the right thoughts, it changes the behavior which changes the results.

Forgive.  There’s another way to get rid of the victim mentality.  You forgive other people.  I had to pretend like I was forgiving this guy.  I would see him out and about and I‘m like man, it’s so great to see you.  Hey, how’s the family?  And it got to the point I really did.  I had to act the way I wanted to feel to eventually feel the way that I was acting.  And psychologists have proven it is easier to act your way into a feeling than feel your way into acting.  So have gratitude, forgive, take the focus off of yourself.  What was I doing?  I was taking the  – putting the focus on me, poor pitiful me, that I’m bankrupt, on government assistance, they repossessed my car – and I can’t feed my kids and I can’t support my wife and I can’t keep a job.  That was all based off of Darin Kidd.  When I stop taking focus off of me, going, how can I use this to inspire and motivate and help other people.  How can I serve?  How can I make an impact?  It made a huge difference.

Perspective Analysis

So number one, take ownership and responsibility.  Number two, I had a mentor of mine, best-selling author David Bird, he told me, he goes Darin. I want you to write a perspective analysis.  This was when I was going through some other challenges, some other challenges in my life.   He said a perspective analysis. I’m like, what the heck is that? He goes, I want you to act as if you’re a reporter, a third-party reporter, reporting on you.  I want you to write everything that’s going on in your life right now.  And when I started writing it down, I found out that it was so true, that a lot of the times it’s in our head it’s a lot worse than in reality.

Focus on What You Can Do

And our brain doesn’t know the difference in reality and what we tell it.  So when I did this perspective analysis, just wrote down, here’s my current life situation with everything; family and bills and debt and challenges.  And when you look at it you’re like, okay, that’s what it is.  So that’s number two; perspective analysis.  Number three, you make a can-do list.  A can-do, not a can’t-do, a can-do list.  And then when you make that can-do list, and I remember going, well,  you know what David I can’t do this because I don’t have this and I don’t have these resources.  He said Darin, that would be a can’t-do list.  I want you to write a can-do list.  And then once you write that can-do list, you’re gonna prioritize, and go okay. What are three to five things that I can start acting on immediately that move me in the direction of where I wanna go?

Focus On What You Want

Number four, focus on what you want, not what you don’t want.  What we focus on, we attract.  Okay, what we focus on, we attract.  I was hearing Rick Warren recently talk about how Job, if you read the story of Job in the good book, the Bible, right?  And you don’t have to believe what I believe but it said everything that he feared happened.  What we focus on, we attract.  What we seek is seeking us.  Our thoughts and our words – for some reason this came to me this week, I’m like, you know what, what we think today and what we say today is like a paintbrush.  And we’re painting tomorrow.  SO focus on what you want, not what you don’t want.  Focus on what you can do, not what you can’t do.

Focus on Where You’re Going

And then last but not least, number five, Focus on where you’re going.  Not where you’ve been.  The past is the past.  You may have heard people say, look, why is there a rear view mirror?  It’s really small but the windshield in your car is really big.  Because you want to focus on where you’re going, not where you’ve been.  It’s more important to look at that.  And what you focus on you attract.  What gets your attention gets you.  When you go to race car driving school, they talk about whatever direction you’re looking is where you’re gonna go.  So if all of a sudden you’re heading toward a wall and you keep going, don’t hit the wall, don’t hit the wall, don’t hit the wall, and you hot the wall.  That’s the way we do what – we move in the direction of our expectations.  What we focus on we attract. We’re a magnet.  Our thoughts and our words are a magnet.

So number one, take ownership and responsibility.  Les Brown said wherever you find yourself at some point, you made an appointment to be there.  Whether we like it or not, we are where we are right now because of the decisions that we’ve made good or bad. The good news is that we can change that.  Number two, do a perspective analysis.  Number three, focus on what you can do, not what you can’t do.  Number four, focus on what you want, not what you don’t want.  And number five focus on where you’re going, not where you’ve been. 

The Secret

So this is the tip, the secret, that I wish someone would have told me, that successful people understand this.  Successful people, they embrace the struggle, because they know that it is –  the same hammer that shatters glass, forges steel.  The same hammer that shatters glass, forges steel.  The pain can lead you to your purpose.  Remember, you’re not being punished, it’s just preparation if we do the right things, and these are some things to help you, move you in the right direction.  Alright so let me know if anyone of you, you had an aha moment or you got some value out of this.  I appreciate those that have smashed the heart button.  I appreciate those that have tagged people to let them hear this message because there’s a lot of people in today’s world that need to hear this message.  Like, you know what?  This too shall pass.  Yeah, right now it’s tough.  Right now, a lot of people are having struggles but this too shall pass.  If things are going great, thing are off the charts awesome, this too shall pass.  If you’re in the valley and you’re going through some struggles, this too shall pass.  So I hope everybody has a great rest of your day.  I am cheering for you every step of the way.  Make sure to subscribe.  Make sure to like the page, depending on which platform you’re watching.  And we will see you on next week’s training. Have a great day, everyone.

ABOUT DARIN

Darin Kidd is one of the most in demand trainers in Network Marketing today. After his vast 28 years in the industry, he has acquired a lot of knowledge. He is a multiple seven figure earner with over 1,000 personal recruits and built teams of thousands of distributors.

As an accomplished trainer and mentor, he has led hundreds of live events around the world and assisted people in building their own successful network Marketing businesses. His passion is helping people see success of their own by teaching them what to do.